What happened?

Why does it feel like all of this had happened before? I thought everything was fine; then you suddenly hit me with something that is pretty hard to swallow. I feel like I'm losing you. I feel like were losing each other. I'm sorry. This is not fair. I'm angry. I'm hurt. I'm confused. But most importantly, I'm scared. Please don't take this letter as a guilt trip to bring you back. I respect you and your feelings. I understand that there are some things you have to go through by yourself. I know you need a break. But I have to fight for us. Not because I'm afraid to lose you, but because it's the only thing I know how to do.

You have my heart. As simple as it sounds, it is also the truest thing I can admit.  I love those rare moments when you wrap your hands around my waist while we walk. You were never for public displays of affection and every time you do that, it just sends me over the clouds. I'm pretty sure you have no idea just how much you affect me. I love how even the corniest and most juvenile things make you hysterical like a little kid. And how your laugh is so contagious that everyone around you starts laughing when you do. Even just thinking about it now brings a comical grin on my lips. Every simple thing you do completes my day: a smile, a kiss, or even a text telling me to bundle up because it’s extra cold outside. You are too much for me. And I love it.

I miss you. So much, my chest literally hurts. Just like Blair's love is for Chuck, mine for you is all-consuming.

But don’t worry, I’m a strong girl.

I'll keep holding on. Patience and Understanding: those are what I need right now. And maybe some chocolates. It's Valentines Day after all.